Side Effects of Carabamazepine (Tegretol)

I’m taking Carabamazepine (Tegretol) for bipolar and it’s been a trip. I’ve been taking it since May 11. 2009, and side effects have been tough at times. I take two at night and one in the morning. Yesterday morning I felt great. I took mom to the doctor around 9am but then started to feel a little dizzy and then it smoothed out. I had cereal when I took it so maybe that’s the reason.Your not suppose to take it without food.

It is now 6:50am and while writing this I am very dizzy. I haven’t had a chance to have the cereal but still dizzy. It’s this way all the time I never know how the medicine is going to react. It’s really hard to work on this medicine, Carabamazepine. Two mornings ago, Monday, I felt terrible. I had felt like I had gone on an evening drunk and had a terrible hangover. My eyes felt droopy, my head hurt and was very tired. After about an hour or so it mellowed out and I was okay, still tired all day. It was a tough one. It differs everyday. Other side effects is the mild headaches, my skin itches, my mouth had this bad taste and is dry. At times I feel like I’m having anxiety attacks. My heart is racing and I’m having deep breathing and taking breathes occasionally. Will it mellow out for good over time? I have hepatitis C and I read that Carabamazepine is very bad for your liver. Now why would I be given a pill that is bad for me. I called the clinic and told them I wanted to come in and get a blood test. If my liver count goes up what pill can I take? What if I can’t take any? Do I just go crazy. Another question, why do we take pills that make us feel bad. I don’t get it why take something that can do bad things to us. I don’t get it. So what’s the answer. Is there another pill out there that isn’t so bad on the liver? Is there a pill that doesn’t have side effects? So far I haven’t found any.

I am now going to the clinic to get a blood test to check the count of the Tegretol and the enzymes of my liver.  I need to make sure I’m not dying.  The clinic is for people who don’t make much money and they offer a insurance that pays for everything.  I was approved for it so this is good.  I paid $583.00 a month ago at my doctors.  If I’d know about this clinic I could of saved money.  Of course, I haven’t paid it yet.  Times are tough.  Results later.

Disability for Bipolar

I checked into this because I’m having a hard time keeping a job on bipolar.  At least that’s what I’ve been told.  I have bipolar.  Or is this just a disease they say you have when you act nutty.  Maybe your naturally nutty.  I don’t know, but I know I have some kind of problem.  I don’t know when it started but I might of been born with it.  My mom has it.  But then they say sometimes atrauma might of caused it.  What ever the case may be I’m tired of being crazy.  Going wild at times and crying at others.  Flying high like I’m on top of the world other times in bed with the blanket over my head.  I haven’t been able to hold a job now for 4 years and finally decided to check into Disability.  Today, I got my paperwork to go to their doctor to get checked out.  Is that good news?  What is a test for bipolar?  I’ve never had a true test.  Plus, their testing me for dementia.  What is dementia and how is it tested.   The point is – I had no insurance to get these tests and I’m so glad that now I can find out for sure – if this doctor is good – to find out if I have bipolar or a tumor LOL.  Wish me luck

The New Pill is Very Strange – Let Me Tell You About It

This pill is also a anticonvulcent pill used for epilisey as well as for bipolar. It’s something that I have never encountered.  I take two before bedtime and it helps me sleep pretty well.  I wake up to an adrenaline type feeling.  Meaning my heart feels like it’s racing or I’m on speed, but at the same time I’m really calm.  I get right to work on my eBay.  You have to make sure you eat first thing in the morning before  you can take your 1 pill in the morning.  I don’t like to take it too late – this pill puts you through some stages before it mellows out.  First, you fill high and dizzy and you stumble a bit so don’t drive.  Then it finally subsides and your okay. When I first took it I was running into everything.  I didn’t drive for the first week taking it.  Now, it could be different for someone else.  A lot of the side effects are right on.  My teeth bled for a while and sometimes I’d get a headache.  I just took an aspirin.  You do get tired so I would take a nap in the afternoon where I didn’t use to – I hated naps.

Now, when I get upset or mad about something this pill starts acting.  It’s not called a mood stabilizer for nothing.  I don’t get out of control, because I spending too much time trying to figure out what this pill is going to do.  Mania is my culprit.  I can go spinning and I have a terrible temper.  That’s an Irish-Indian Temper. I take the  lorazepam0r.5 mg and I’m just fine.   I have been going through depression.  I have no money – that’s a great reason to be depressed.  I still believe at times that people are talking about me.  Plus, I feel that my parents are treating me like I don’t belong here.   But after a while it goes away where before I would let it drive me crazy.

Someone mentioned to me earlier they thought Bipolar was two personalities.  I use to think so too. One day I would be someone and the next I could be someone else.   Really meaning my moods.  Their like a roller coaster.  I don’t drink anymore and if I did you could get the personality disorders.   Bipolar people drink to make the voices go away.  I had too many voice committees going off in my head.   Do this do that.  What do I do?!?

When I was younger I liked being someone else because I felt brave.  Drinking and bipolar don’t go hand in hand.  But I got myself in a lot of trouble.  I woke up one morning and had no idea where or who  I was with.   It seemed that I thought I had to be with a man to be anything.  I always was trying to make them happy not me.  I gave too much if you know what I mean.   Today. now that I have admitted I have bipolar I now know what the problem was.  I drank and gave it up too much.  A man wasn’t going to care for me being like that and now I know why.  I always chose men that were abusive and controlling.

Well I’m finding myself rambling.  At least I’m only doing one thing instead of trying to do 4 or 5 things at a once and never completing a darn thing.

Come back and visit me.

All I Do Is Sleep – I Can’t Deal With This – Does It Stop?

I started taking the medication Carbamazomepine.  Look at the blog below.  Can’t spell something I’m taking.  How do I stay awake?  The only thing I know to do is cut it in half.  I can’t life from day do day like this   How am I doing to work.  This is what happen Lithium.    Now, my dad just came in to tell me that my brother got a great job.  Sorry Dad, I’m a bum  Sorry, Dad I can’t live in the world like normal people.  What am I to do.  Doesn’t anyone have a plan.  I need help here.

HELP ME SPELL IT!

My Second Day On Carbamazepine & Lorezpam for Bipolar

I’m going to keep you up to date on this drug I have never heard of.  I got it from a mental health clinic. Where the nurse practitioner read a book to decide what drug I should take.  I was on Prozac and I was taking Lithium but took myself off of them.  Why?  I don’t know.  One minute you think you have bipolar and then the next minute you do.  I guess we use bipolar for the odd things we say or do – makes a great excuse.  Mother will ask, “Why are you running around here with you chicken cut off?”  ” It’s Bipolar, Mom.”

I don’t know what normal is any more.  I do know since I   this Carbamazepine that I do feel weird.  I’m high!  Really High!.  Yesterday was staggering all over the place.  I went to bed very early just to not feel it any more.  I itched all night.  Just like I do when I take Hydrocodone. Itch, Itch, Itch!  I haven’t taken the Lorezpam yet I’m going to eat first.  I’m still staggering a little and typing is a little hard.  But I’m doing it.  I’m so glad I don’t have a temp job today.  Whew!.

I’m going to call to see what the status of my Social Security Disabilities Benefits.  I also have Hepatitis that I need to get treated and have not had the time or money.   I’m just going day by day  not know when I’m dong to fall over and die.    In the meantime, I try to do what I can and that’s write.

My life has been very boring lately.  Just sitting home watch TV,adding items to sell on eBay, and writing.  If I didn’t have that I would just fade away.

Boy I’m having a tough time writing this drug is making me spacey and I keep misspelling words.  My mind is heavy and spacey feeling.  Boy I hope this goes away.  I’m trying to drink coffee to see if it would help – so far not good.

Well I’ll be back later when the drug kind of mellows out.  I hope it doesn’t kill me.

New Medication for Me Bipolar – Carbamazepine

I went to a mental health clinic to see if I could get some help with my bipolar the other day and spoke with a doctor and case worker. I’m trying to get approved through an insurance company that helps low income people. I got this medication, but not sure about the insurance yet. You can only make a certain about of money to be approved. The doctor gave me the following medication. I’m not sure how to pronounce it Carbamazepine.

So I’m wondering if there is another name for it. I was told there would be some side affects and I think I’m feeling them now. I’m shaky, my head hurts a little, light headed, and I’m afraid to get in the car and drive. When I first woke up I was staggering all over the place. The following are the side affects that I found on the internet for Carbam…

“Common adverse effects include drowsiness, headaches and migraines, motor coordination impairment and/or upset stomach. Carbamazepine preparations typically greatly decrease a person’s alcohol tolerance.”

There went the two glasses of wine. I was also given Lorazepam which is initially marketed under the brand names Ativan and Temesta. I took two of the Carbam and 1 Lorazepam before I went to bed. I slept really good. However, when I awoke this morning I felt drunk. I was all ofer the place and my eyes are a little blurry and my hands feel shaky. Is this how I’m suppose to feel my first time. I hope this goes away. I have to admit I had a couple of glasses of wine for dinner. Could that have something to do with it? I don’t like how I’m feeling right now. I want it to go away.

I read the following about Lorazepam and alcohol: Lorazepam’s anticonvulsant, or CNS depressant, properties are useful for the prevention and treatment of alcohol withdrawal syndrome. In this setting it is relevant that impaired liver function is not a hazard with lorazepam since lorazepam does not require oxidation, hepatic or otherwise, for its metabolism.

I hope this side effects don’t last long because I couldn’t work like this. I’m walking around here trying not to run into walls. Try to feel normal but all I want to do is get into bed. I kind of feel a little paranoid. This is going to be short because I feel weird.  I think I will take a nap.

I’ll trying and take you through the feelings I experience taking these two medications.

Delusions – Okay I’m Not Okay – I Have Bipolar!

I always think I know everything. Thought all is well.  I’m in control.  I don’t have to take my medication.  Everything will be okay I can deal with it myself.  I think I was wrong - some may not think so.

I feel all twisted and confused inside.  For the last hour I had been curled up in an embryo position trying to push these anxieties out.  I wanted to scream, explode, or tear me or something else apart. I suddenly don’t know what to do with myself.  What do I do?  Fix some coffee; check my email; what about the job I’m suppose to go to tomorrow; give Cody a bath; got to make a car payment; what am I going to do if I can’t work!!  I don’t like working with people what do I do! WHAT?

This feeling in my chest is suffocating me and I take deep breathes in hopes I won’t die.  I’m scared and I don’t know why!  I thought I knew.  I thought I was okay. Thought I could do it myself.  I can’t.  I need help!

People see me and think I’m okay.  They look at me and say your attractive you don’t look like someone who doesn’t feel okay or is crazy.  Your perfect!

I’m not okay! I’m not okay and there’s nothing I can do about it.  How do I tell t hem I’m falling apart in my mind.  I’m not your okay daughter.  I can’t tell anyone.  They don’t want to know that their little girl is not okay.  I’m 57!

I just want to disappear in the darkness and hope to come out into the light okay.  But I can’t breathe.  I’m loosing myself!

I don’t want to deal with life around me. I don’t want to deal with people and be social by having to explain myself.  I don’t want to hear that I’m not doing it right, don’t you remember, your wrong, what’s wrong with you, etc.  Then, YOU’RE  FIRED!

I’m scared so hide and I run.  Can someone explain this to me?  What can I do?  Do you or anyone understand me?  I’m crawling inside myself and I can’t climb out!  Can you see me?

I realized that I’ve been delusional.  I found out that people could tell when I’m acting crazy.  Now I understand why I was fired a lot.  I always believed that I was doing something wrong all the time.  I actually believed everyone was talking behind my back or behind closed doors.  “Oh, their door is closed.  Their talking about it – they’re going to let me go.”

They do.

If I stop writing I might die.

I need help!

I have nothing to reference you to on this blog.  The writing is mine and it won’t be the same tomorrow.  Only now.

Should I Stay or Should I Go – Bipolar Freeaking

This job that I took over 3 weeks ago seems like a farce to me.  I’m working out of my home and in the office just a few days a week.   He doesn’t really have any solid for me to do except he wants me to make 100 calls to supervisors asking them if we can send a quote to them.  I just feel that’s unrealistic for a couple of days.  My bipolar doesn’t like it one bit, and I just keep saying I don’t want to do this.  It’s just too much.  I’m moving quickly in to the bipolar phase of worry and panic. I can’t make a decision.  I have a hard time dealing with people now and working in an office is not appealing to me.  I don’t like to receive criticism, and be treated like I’m stupid.  Even though I have some of those issues I don’t want anyone else to tell me.  I’ve had a long hard life and I’m finally trying to stabilize it and it almost was.  Then I took this job and I hate it.  I want to work on my eBay site more than anything.  I know it and it’s mine.I’m coming down from my high to my low.  Yesterday I just went to bed and slept in and then I came home about 12:30 and slept until 2:30p.  I could of slept longer.  I don’t do well when there’s a big decision to make.  The only thing stopping me from having to work these horrible bad jobs is my car payment.  I need a lower car payment or none at all.  I had bad credit so my finance charges were blow out of the roof and be paying until I’m a very old lady.  This is also making my move to live with my son in North Carolina seem further and further away.

I wish a miracle would happen.  Someone take me away from all this. I’m tried of owing people.  I’m tired of being sick.  I just want to play and have fun the rest of my life.  I want to hold my grand baby before he’s too old. How can I do this?  Will a white horse with a very nice man ride up and take me away.  Cliche! lol

Oh, and my memory is pretty bad.  I was talking on the phone with my mom and I told her I couldn’t find my cell phone.  She said, “Vickie, what phone are you talking on with me?”  Dumb me!

I’ve Venting – Bipolar is Triggered! Body Hurts-Why!

Help, I’m afraid I’m losing it!  My mind is trying to go crazy!   Lately, I’ve been working for myself.   I decided a while ago that I couldn’t work in the corporate world.  My illness just wouldn’t let me.

Just recently, I took this new part time job and since I started, I’ve been having anxiety really bad.

Today, I totally forgot what I had learned.  I just sat there and stared at the computer.  Then I tried everything.  It just wouldn’t come to me.  Anxiety started to hit me, I started sweating all over including my palms.   The people I work with don’t understand why I can’t remember and lose things and can’t remember what happen to it.  This makes things worse.  I just want to pull my hair out.

Since I took this new part time job I have been having anxiety really bad.   Before I didn’t have  to answer to anyone. Now, I do and I don’t like it. I don’t like to answer to anyone.  I don’t like anyone telling me I don’t know how to do something.  Or, talk to me like I’m ignorant.

About 4 weeks ago I started  getting total pain in my entire body to the point where I can’t walk.  I mean I ache all over like the flu, my joints, back, my legs swell up and on.  One morning  I woke up and the back of my knee on the leg that I broke in 3 places was very very swollen.  I couldn’t bend it.  I was at a book store and it really started to get bad to the point I couldn’t put any weight on it.  It really scared me and almost went to the emergency room.  Even my foot in the heel area is very painful.  I spend a lot of time on heat or ice packs.  Is that the way to live?

I thought maybe it could be my Hepatitis C.  I thought maybe it’s because I took myself of the hormone Premarin.  Or, maybe I have arthritis or rheumatism.

I’ve thought about disability benefits but they want to know all my doctors names, when I saw them, with dates, and much more.  I don’t remember anybody that alone dates!  I don’t know where my records are.  What can I d

I am so busy all the time that my body is just shutting down.  I’m worried I might have something serious wrong with me.  I don’t have insurance so it’s been difficult  to go to the doctor and get some tests.  That would cost a lot.  So here I sit in this pain with bipolar and can’t do anything about it.  I’m starting to get worried that it’s something serious.  I quit drinking and smoking about 6 months ago.  I thought I was suppose to feel better.

What can I do.  I need some advise.

I CAN’T TALK TO ANYONE THAT WILL LISTEN!

It is now May 2009 and  I was reading this part of my life in the blog below in 2007.  Boy, was I  bad shape!  I didn’t even finish it.  I’ll have to come back with that.

My father has ways to trigger my Bipolar and still does.  Since this blog I have been doing a lot better.  I have finally accepted my problems and am dealing with them.  I still have manic episodes but instead of grabbing a drink and a smoke I go for a walk, read or write.  I also talk to God and some how I now believe in Angels.  That’s right.  You heard that.  You know the story when someone murders someone and is sent to jail they suddenly find God?  Well, I did.  I have been in the dark so long that amazing things started to happen.  They said God won’t help you unless you help yourself.  I now believe that.  I took control of my life by doing what I needed to do to get my life and me back on my feet.  Do the right things.  No the wrong.   I decided it was time to get help with my bipolar and when I did my drinking slowed down.   My trigger is when I get really upset or someone pisses me off the first thing I think about is “I’m going to the store and get some wine and a pack of cigarettes.  I’m then going to come home sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and just drink and smoke until there’s nothing left.  That’s what I would do.   Now, it takes every inch of me not to do that.  It happen to me the other day.  I was so mad and didn’t know what to do or cope – This little demon in me kept saying “Go get some cigarettes.  It’s okay. Just a couple won’t hurt.  I drove to the 7-11 got out of my car up to the cashier and said, “Carlton 100’s, please.”  They didn’t have any!  It must of been a sign.  Normally, I would get back in my car and drive until I would find some.  I didn’t to it this time.  I went home and wrote.  That’s how I’ve been doing it.  Writing.  I’ve got journals all over the place.  I keep going back to them and that helps.  I hope this helps someone else.

2008

I feel that I have no one to talk to about Bipolar.   I found recently that I have duel Bipolar.  Bipolar and Alcoholism.    When I talk to my dad he just doesn’t want to hear my issues about my mania.  He just doesn’t want to accept my illness.   The other day when I was talking to him I tried to tell him what I was going through.  Just like when I ended up in the mental hospital when I committed myself after binge drinking for two weeks, and then the thought of suicide, which I didn’t go through because of intervention from above.  Even then I dropped hints on how now I was and how lonely I felt.

I had just lost a relationship of 5 years and at the same time my son told me he was going in the army for 6 long years.  Six long years!  I couldn’t cope.  I started drinking to stop the feelings I was having.  I would panic and have anxiety.  So I just drank around 2-3 weeks around the clock.

Then one night everything came to an end I attempted to cut my wrist.  But something happen and instead called a friend, not my parents.  My friend called my doctor who had been treating me and I then went to the hospital where I stayed for 7 weeks.  My Dad finally realized that I had a problem.   However, I do still drink, that don’t think I do.  I’m hinting again, but no one listens.  I don’t want to hurt them.

I spoke with my mom this morning about my conversation with my dad and she actually opened up to me.  She told me she had been crying and rocking back and forth for no reason.  So we talked and she listened and I listened.  I don’t talk to her usually because she gets to upset.  She can’t remember things here lately and that depresses her.  So I don’t talk very much to her about my issues.

Last year I started accepting the fact, because I looked back on my past of lost jobs, lost relationships, suicidal thoughts, just crazy thinking, and a whole lot of bull.  I figured there is some kind of problem and I think about he doctors that diagnosed me with bipolar.  But even then it wasn’t as published as it is now.  I just kept denying it because they seem not to think it important.  When I was in rehab they gave me Lithium and Paxil.  I was so drugged out.  I took lithium for a while until I went to another doctor and they said it was a dangerous drug.  So I was put on Lexapro, Celexa and then Prozac.  I never could afford to go to the proper doctor.

I’m fed up.  I’m, 56 years old and I need help.  I have no job or insurance but thought there has to be some kind of help out there.  I spend the other day doing research and found site for North Dallas Bipolar Group.  It was great to get feedback from others that have gone through exactly what I have been going through. I just thought I was crazy and all alone.

Once my father told me that mom had manic.  I figured it was inherited.  Was it? Or is it?  Just he other day I was trying to tell him what I have found out lately and about mom. He said, “She doesn’t have manic she is just depress, It’s old age.”  But dad that was a long time ago that you said that and she still does sits all alone in the back room crying.  When we spoke this morning she said it’s because she felt helpless and all alone.  That’s the way I feel.  So we talked.  It was great for the first time.  If only we could do more of that.

My mom can’t walk very well and she can’t drive so she doesn’t go anywhere except to the back room in her rocker watching Gunsmoke over and over again.  She isolates herself like I do here in my little apartment away from the world.

When I was trying to talk to my dad the other day about the appointment I finally got with UT Southwestern Medical Center and how excited I was he just changed the subject and asked if I got my car inspected.  Did you do this or that?  I guess your going to have to work several jobs for money or I guess you’ll have to get on disability.  Anything to make me feel bad.  I finally just told him I had to hang up.

Yesterday I went and got my car inspected and had nothing but problems.  They wanted to flush my radiator, clean my engine, etc., and kept saying no to the point if they said one more thing I was going somewhere else.  After the inspection I went across the street to the grocery store and when I came out my tire was flat.  Did they do it?  Was it my thought?

Regarding the UT Southwestern Medical University.  I have an appointment not this week but next week to undergo some test to see if I qualify.  I just hope I say the right things.  If I’m accepted I will get free therapy and treatment for a new drug that stops the craving of alcohol and helps the bipolar.  Wouldn’t that be great? Could the lord be looking out for me on this?

I lie a lot, and I make things bigger than they really are. I act.  It’s like I living in another world besides my own. I’m negative by cutting myself down all the time and sometimes I just want to runaway and not deal with anything.   I’ve done this in jobs when things get crazy I just want to run and not deal with it.  Somehow I know things like I know when someone is talking about me or that I know my job is in jeopardy, a lot of things.  Mostly things come true of things I think about.  I believe it’s called intuition.  My x-husband use to think I was a witch because I could call him on things that I wasn’t suppose to know.