This morning was not good. The alarm on my phone went off at 4:30am, and I came flying out of the bed. By no means was I ready for this day. The committee in my mind was going off with all these things I needed to do today and didn’t feel that I had the time. I started resenting the idea in going to work and then the biggy happen. I couldn’t find my wallet! Something like that throws me over overboard! My mind was not ready for this. My manic started to try and take over. I was ranting and raving looking all over the the house. Then I thought the worse – someone stoled it. No way, I had it yesterday – it’s just lost. That’s what I kept telling myself so my manic self would calm down. But the committee was ringing in my ears. I had to get to work. I looked around the car and under the car. It was so dark I couldn’t see in the car, but still felt around to see if I I could find it. Did this all the way to work. I tried to keep calm and kept telling myself I’m getting upset for nothing I will find it. My mine or intuition was telling me to calm down that I would find the the wallet. It’s here somewhere. Finally, when I got to work I had a feeling that my wallet could be on the other side of the car. So I felt around the bottom of the door and there it was- my wallet. It sure felt good. All my anxiety went away.
If I had just been quite and listen I would of heard my intuition talking to me. It kept saying you will find it, you will find it calm down. So I finally did. I’m going to try and practice that for now on.
I was suppose to go in for therapy today, and then go back on Friday for another session at the doctors. I was feeling all this anxiety about having to use all my gas and I just don’t have time, blah, blah. I mean it was really bothering me! Bipolar people make things bigger than they really are. We or I, increase my manic by worrying to much about certain issues. So to stop his madness I called and canceled the therapy today and told them I just couldn’t do it twice this week. He understood and said see you Friday. Well that felt good.
Have a great mental day!