Bad Trip on Bipolar

I haven’t been here in a while.  I’ve been confused, down and have been busy trying to get my business going to make some money.  First I need the money to pay my rent so I keep praying for that some miracle is going to arise and get me on a plane to North Carolina to see  my family and new grandson.

I’ve been on that research drug and last week I had some horrible things happen. They went up on the dosage so was taken that one, Lithium and Trazodone.  I was having nightmare’s and one night I got up to go to the bathroom.  I felt like I had just done 10 shots of Tequila.  I was staggering all the way knocking down anything that was in my way.  When I finally got back to my bed I went to lay down and bam! I fell to the floor butt first then fell backwards and hit my head on the nightstand – then I was knocked out.  I didn’t wake until the next morning and was late to work.   I have a feeling that the research drug is the real thing.  A sugar pill wouldn’t do that – would it?  I went to the doctor a day later and they were very concerned about what happen to me and decided to lower the dosage of the drug.  Then last Saturday – I was taking a drive to estate sales and got heartburn real bad — I could feel something driving up my stomach and throat and then – yes – I made a mess.  I through up on the only thing I had available at the time – ny jacket and then all over me.  Sadly, I had to return home change clothes.  Then, I just went on with my business.

I have felt a little better in the last few days.  There have been moments when I feel like I want to go manic, but I just try and take some deep breaths to make it go away.  My memory is not so good – meaning short term.  It takes me a while to have everything (codes) to enter my mind to figure out what that person said to me.

This little part-time job has been great for me.  Can’t beat it.  I manage the fitness center and work in my own little business in the office.  Can’t beat it  I’ve feel that my goals and dreams are trying to battle their way up and over the hill.  I’m not rich, but that doesn’t matter to me.  It never has.  I can’t have it because if I do I will spend it all.  I found that out while in my manic stage I went shopping and spent on all my credits cards to their limit in one day.  Yep, one day and have been spending the last 10 or more years trying to pay my debts off.  Pretty soon I will be too old to worry about it.

I wanted to share a new piece of jewelry I just made – It’s made of magnetic hematite beads, and bone beads.

Thanks for visiting

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3 thoughts on “Bad Trip on Bipolar

  1. Hello and Thanks! Thank you for the jewelry comment. I try hard. But busines is slow right now.

    The research team at the hospital took me off the research drug.

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