Update – Bipolar

Well I’ve been away for a while.  Since not taking the experimental medicine for bipolar, I have been trying to get my body back to normal again.  Normal?  What’s that! .  I had  a terrible reaction to the experimental people – I was bonkers.  I couldn’t sleep, I almost broke my neck falling, diarrhea, throwing up, etc.  So the people at the hospital took me off of the pill.  There were working – I didn’t have any cravngs to have a drink.  But my body failed me.

I’m working really hard to get my ebay store off the ground and running.  It has been doing well, but my organizations skills is giving me anxiety.  I can’t decide where to start what to start with, or I hate the layout.  There’s so much to get done and they’re a lot of things that I need to do and thats getting organize.  I hate the feeling of losing something, can’t remember where I put the item.  An incident happen earlier this week.  I looked up and down for my keyes and I’ve made special place to my keys when I come in the door – this time I didn’t.  What am I going to do.  I have to go to work.  I decided not to think about it just keep busy and something will come to you later.  I decided to take the trash out and low and behold there were my keys in the trash.  Yesterday, I came home and put my stuff on the kitchen table.  I saw dog Cody when I first came in the door then he was gone.  I closed the front door and got the dog chain to walk him.  I called out to him but he didn’t acknowledge.  That’s weired I said.  He always comes out when I say “Walk.” “Oh well, I said. I’ll just go by myself.”  I opened the front door and there’s Cody just standing in front of the closed door waiting for me.  It was so funny!  He didn’t run off and didn’t even bark.  Poor thing.

My dad lost my mom the other day.  He had dropped her off at the grocery store to cash her Social Security check and went on the other grocery store where they actually buy groceries.  He asked an employee if she had seen mom and she said know and decided to call 911.  The police came and dad told them mom was missing,  He was having a coronary!  The Employee asked, “Is she in the trunk?”  Now why would my mom be in  the trunk.  My dad finally remembered that Mom wasn’t even there but at the other store.  He felt so stupid and told me not to tell.

My family has a long history of althimers.  Recently his brother died from it, my aunts, and my grandmother.  Dad;s mom.  Dad is the only one left.   So bad memory runs in the family.  I was sorta of happy that at least I know that if I go crazy what’s wrong.

My bipolar doesn’t help my poor memory.  I scare myself sometimes because I feel like something is always following me.  Out of the corner of my eye a flash will happen and I would turn quickly to find it. 

Time to get on with my work – Thanks for listening.

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