Help, I’m afraid I’m losing it! My mind is trying to go crazy! Lately, I’ve been working for myself. I decided a while ago that I couldn’t work in the corporate world. My illness just wouldn’t let me.
Just recently, I took this new part time job and since I started, I’ve been having anxiety really bad.
Today, I totally forgot what I had learned. I just sat there and stared at the computer. Then I tried everything. It just wouldn’t come to me. Anxiety started to hit me, I started sweating all over including my palms. The people I work with don’t understand why I can’t remember and lose things and can’t remember what happen to it. This makes things worse. I just want to pull my hair out.
Since I took this new part time job I have been having anxiety really bad. Before I didn’t have to answer to anyone. Now, I do and I don’t like it. I don’t like to answer to anyone. I don’t like anyone telling me I don’t know how to do something. Or, talk to me like I’m ignorant.
About 4 weeks ago I started getting total pain in my entire body to the point where I can’t walk. I mean I ache all over like the flu, my joints, back, my legs swell up and on. One morning I woke up and the back of my knee on the leg that I broke in 3 places was very very swollen. I couldn’t bend it. I was at a book store and it really started to get bad to the point I couldn’t put any weight on it. It really scared me and almost went to the emergency room. Even my foot in the heel area is very painful. I spend a lot of time on heat or ice packs. Is that the way to live?
I thought maybe it could be my Hepatitis C. I thought maybe it’s because I took myself of the hormone Premarin. Or, maybe I have arthritis or rheumatism.
I’ve thought about disability benefits but they want to know all my doctors names, when I saw them, with dates, and much more. I don’t remember anybody that alone dates! I don’t know where my records are. What can I d
I am so busy all the time that my body is just shutting down. I’m worried I might have something serious wrong with me. I don’t have insurance so it’s been difficult to go to the doctor and get some tests. That would cost a lot. So here I sit in this pain with bipolar and can’t do anything about it. I’m starting to get worried that it’s something serious. I quit drinking and smoking about 6 months ago. I thought I was suppose to feel better.
What can I do. I need some advise.