This job that I took over 3 weeks ago seems like a farce to me. I’m working out of my home and in the office just a few days a week. He doesn’t really have any solid for me to do except he wants me to make 100 calls to supervisors asking them if we can send a quote to them. I just feel that’s unrealistic for a couple of days. My bipolar doesn’t like it one bit, and I just keep saying I don’t want to do this. It’s just too much. I’m moving quickly in to the bipolar phase of worry and panic. I can’t make a decision. I have a hard time dealing with people now and working in an office is not appealing to me. I don’t like to receive criticism, and be treated like I’m stupid. Even though I have some of those issues I don’t want anyone else to tell me. I’ve had a long hard life and I’m finally trying to stabilize it and it almost was. Then I took this job and I hate it. I want to work on my eBay site more than anything. I know it and it’s mine.I’m coming down from my high to my low. Yesterday I just went to bed and slept in and then I came home about 12:30 and slept until 2:30p. I could of slept longer. I don’t do well when there’s a big decision to make. The only thing stopping me from having to work these horrible bad jobs is my car payment. I need a lower car payment or none at all. I had bad credit so my finance charges were blow out of the roof and be paying until I’m a very old lady. This is also making my move to live with my son in North Carolina seem further and further away.
I wish a miracle would happen. Someone take me away from all this. I’m tried of owing people. I’m tired of being sick. I just want to play and have fun the rest of my life. I want to hold my grand baby before he’s too old. How can I do this? Will a white horse with a very nice man ride up and take me away. Cliche! lol
Oh, and my memory is pretty bad. I was talking on the phone with my mom and I told her I couldn’t find my cell phone. She said, “Vickie, what phone are you talking on with me?” Dumb me!