The New Pill is Very Strange – Let Me Tell You About It

This pill is also a anticonvulcent pill used for epilisey as well as for bipolar. It’s something that I have never encountered.  I take two before bedtime and it helps me sleep pretty well.  I wake up to an adrenaline type feeling.  Meaning my heart feels like it’s racing or I’m on speed, but at the same time I’m really calm.  I get right to work on my eBay.  You have to make sure you eat first thing in the morning before  you can take your 1 pill in the morning.  I don’t like to take it too late – this pill puts you through some stages before it mellows out.  First, you fill high and dizzy and you stumble a bit so don’t drive.  Then it finally subsides and your okay. When I first took it I was running into everything.  I didn’t drive for the first week taking it.  Now, it could be different for someone else.  A lot of the side effects are right on.  My teeth bled for a while and sometimes I’d get a headache.  I just took an aspirin.  You do get tired so I would take a nap in the afternoon where I didn’t use to – I hated naps.

Now, when I get upset or mad about something this pill starts acting.  It’s not called a mood stabilizer for nothing.  I don’t get out of control, because I spending too much time trying to figure out what this pill is going to do.  Mania is my culprit.  I can go spinning and I have a terrible temper.  That’s an Irish-Indian Temper. I take the  lorazepam0r.5 mg and I’m just fine.   I have been going through depression.  I have no money – that’s a great reason to be depressed.  I still believe at times that people are talking about me.  Plus, I feel that my parents are treating me like I don’t belong here.   But after a while it goes away where before I would let it drive me crazy.

Someone mentioned to me earlier they thought Bipolar was two personalities.  I use to think so too. One day I would be someone and the next I could be someone else.   Really meaning my moods.  Their like a roller coaster.  I don’t drink anymore and if I did you could get the personality disorders.   Bipolar people drink to make the voices go away.  I had too many voice committees going off in my head.   Do this do that.  What do I do?!?

When I was younger I liked being someone else because I felt brave.  Drinking and bipolar don’t go hand in hand.  But I got myself in a lot of trouble.  I woke up one morning and had no idea where or who  I was with.   It seemed that I thought I had to be with a man to be anything.  I always was trying to make them happy not me.  I gave too much if you know what I mean.   Today. now that I have admitted I have bipolar I now know what the problem was.  I drank and gave it up too much.  A man wasn’t going to care for me being like that and now I know why.  I always chose men that were abusive and controlling.

Well I’m finding myself rambling.  At least I’m only doing one thing instead of trying to do 4 or 5 things at a once and never completing a darn thing.

Come back and visit me.

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