It seems like every time I turn around something else is happening in my life. Having bipolar is not fun – it takes every bit of guts to try and be strong. My memory hasn’t been good lately and I have so much going on in my life. I actually run my own little business and it takes every concentration that I have. Yes, I make mistakes, but we do learn from them. Let’s see where should I start.
2) Hepatitis C
3) High Blood Pressure
4) Over the Border Diabetes’s
4) Hyperkalemia (high potassium)
Plus, I’m having swelling in my legs and feet Eight years ago, I had my bunions removed. The doctor found cysts in my big toe joint, additionally I had osteoarthritis. Today, it’s painful to walk on my right food. I have to use a cane.
I broke my leg about 10 years ago – fibula, tibia and my ankle. It’s now giving me problems. Let’s see what else?
I committed myself to the mental hospital. I was very depressed and lonely and started drinking every day and night. I finally lost and tried to cut myself, but I felt an intervention so I stopped and called the doctor. I was diagnosed with Bipolar.
Yes, I’ve had a hard life and that’s not all of it. No wonder I have bipolar, right?
I couldn’t cry before when I was drinking too much. I was numb. I was angry and I didn’t care. That’s changed.
It’s okay to cry – it’s okay to feel. That’s the way I feel. All the stuff that has happened in my life has actually made me a stronger person. I’ve been up and over the mountain so many times. I just say if it’s meant to be so be it.
I cry for others when I see them so torn apart they cannot live in the existence. I wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t be strong. Oh, there were times that I went out of control and hide. Threatened to do something drastic, but every time something would intervene. Then I decided it was my God who was looking over me. That’s how I’ve been living my life.
I cry for me only when I don’t listen to the soft whispers in my ear. It’s the voice of My God.