Bipolar-Making Decisions Is Tough

Everything happens all at once & for a reason.  The girl who wanted me to move in as a roommate in North Carolina suddenly changed her mine.  Wow, it changed all my plans of going too. I  hate that, and at the time I hated her.  But that wasn’t nice.  You know you’re excited  you have it all planned and then BAM!  It all changes.  I had already purchased my one way ticket now what?

That night,  I prayed about it.  So what should I do Lord, Guardian Angel?  Should I still go?   Please come to me while I’m sleep and please help me make a decision.  When I woke up the decision was made and I got right on it. This is why I believe in the power of prayer.  My dreams are so real and I believe in them.  You have to believe in something.

I had already purchased my ticket for North Carolina on the basis I I would be moving there.  So, I decided I wanted to see my son and grand babies anyway, and I would love to go to the beach so – I decided I was going.  Next, I purchased a return ticket home. Wow what a trip! It was actually cheaper that way.  Yea, I’m bipolar I do things different – It’s a circle.   We run circles around ourself  trying to decide what to do.

I get so tired of trying to make the right decision, or even a decision, because  I’m afraid to make a wrong one.  Just like the place on the beach.  It might be a run down shack.  But I did it and that in itself is a miracle for me.  I still ask myself if was the right thing to do, but I’m not going to change.

This place I found is right on the beach. However, there was no web site for it.  I just went by the reviews I found. The pictures were nice.  A nice two bedroom room with kitchen, living room,  and a room with bunk beds.  If I get tired of the queen I’ll jump in the bunk beds.  Who knows!  There was a nice balcony looking over the ocean and the pier with lines of nice yachts and boats.  I mean this place is right on the beach. I’m keeping it. Well, I will email them and make sure they give me a room with a view.

It might be a rag, but you know, I don’t care. But I did read the reviews and everyone seem to be happy.  It’s one of those places that is owned by a small company and doesn’t need to advertise.  It’s right on the beach!  I know I said that!

Having bipolar is hard.  It’s hard to concentrate and my memory seems to be lacking lately.  I have a hard time making decisions. Should I?  Is this the right place, day, time?  I CAN’T MAKE UP MY MINE!  That’s actually a daily occurrence. But, I keep trying.

Never stop trying.  I know it’s frustrating.  Your mad and angry.  But just stop and say it’s okay and take a deep breath.  You’re not the only one out there with this condition.   You just have to get on medication, the right medication.  If you slack it’s not going to do you any good.   You need support.  If you don’t write to me I’ll be your friend.  We all need friends.  I was alone at first.  I became my best friend and so can you.

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