Bipolar: Creativity Lacks

I’ve been in isolation a while now.  My creative juices have just gone to the junk yard.  I haven’t been able to think clearly and I’ve been feeling confused.  Why is this?  Best to my knowledge it’s because I’ve been trying to do too much at one same time.  I’m not managing my time very well.   I’ll think one minute, “Oh, I can do this project then I’ll start on it.”  Then I’ll come up with another project.  Being bipolar this is what I do.  I keep piling things up to the point where I get confused and overwhelmed and then my mind will go on vacation.  Gotta time manage better so I don’t make mistakes. 

I’ve read that some people who are creative lose their edge when they start their medications.  I’m experiencing that.  I use to make jewelry and now I can’t seem to get ideas and/or motivated. It’s sad because I have so many different kinds of beads.  It seems the only thing I can do is my eBay store.  It takes all my focus and even then I get so tired.  Today I was taking pictures and listing then suddenly, I just couldn’t do it any more.  My head hurt and I became very sleepy. Then I needed a nap.

One thing I will not do is give in to Bipolar.  I’ll fight until it’s right.   I must admit there are times when I ask myself, “Do you really have bipolar?”  I wish I didn’t, but I know that the problems with my past is the result of bipolar.  I have to believe so I can get the right help.

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