Relationships – couldn’t keep them. I gave up on them since I always managed to run them off. When I date a man and I really like them I go overboard. I’ll obsess on why he hasn’t called, expect to see him every weekend, and just drive myself crazy thinking of him all the time. My live became consumed, because I spent my waking days and night thinking about this relationship. Your not in a relationship after a couple of dates. A hard lesson I learned – men hate it when women are co-dependent or needy.
I was in a 5 year relationship the longest one I ever had. My guy would actually tell me I was a door mat, or I was always available. He said at times it couldn’t breathe, because I would always be there. This didn’t stop me. I couldn’t imagine my world with him. He started getting verbally abusive trying to run me off. I stood there and took it. I guess because abuse is all that I knew. Then the ultimate happened, I found him in bed with a girl 16 years younger. This really broke my spirit and it sent me into deep depression. I started drinking heavily because I couldn’t take the rejection. I actually tried to commit suicide and was entered into rehab for help with my depression. I found out that I had Bipolar and was treated for it.
Now, my life is all about me and getting myself well. I’m the only one I can depend on. In order to really live you need to like and respect yourself. Sometimes we forget who we are and what kind of person we’ve become. It’s time to change by loving yourself then you can have an awesome life. It’s been 4 years since I’ve been in a relationship, and that’s how it’ll be until I’m okay with me.