Bipolar or Normal

I’ve been feeling  I have been creating scenarios in my mind that are there or not be there.  My problem is when I send someone an email or text message I expect a response back soon.  If I didn’t email or text it wouldn’t have been important. That’s how I feel. You would think they (MEN) would know it to.  I have a big show coming up and my guy friend that I’ve had an around for a wild hasn’t been very nice.  He hasn’t responded to any emails since Thursday.  My questions – are you coming over to help me out with my hanger, mats, etc?  (We have to deliver our art work Tuesday.) Are we going to the reception together or should I get someone else to take me?

I haven’t heard a word!  So, I’m getting anxious, as usual, and just about to take on matters myself.  Plus, I’m thinking of asking someone else to go as my escort to this event.

Monday, tomorrow, is the only day for preparation and I need some things.  I don’t have a car so I’m going to bus it tomorrow to take care of things, because I can depend on anyone.

These are always my thoughts – I can’t depend on anyone.  I never have.  I’ve been let down so much that I can’t trust anyone.  When they ask why I went ahead on my own to take care of things I just say – I can’t depend on you and that usually ends that relationship. I’m the most impatient person on this earth!  It kills me!

Are these bipolar ways or am I being normal.

My guy friend, photographer, has been a good teacher, friend, and sometimes lover up until now.  He took me out for my birthday, which no on else planned. He also wanted to stay the night.  I was hesitant. But I’m a 60 year old lonely woman.  Now, I’m feeling like a used woman.  I don’t know! I’m just so damn confused.  This is why I don’t get involved.  I don’t know how to do anything except take pictures.

Thanks for listening.


5 thoughts on “Bipolar or Normal

  1. I understand how you feel. And Bipolar aside, he should be more considerate to you than that because you have such a short time to prepare. The more I read of this guy, the more I want to smack him.
    I hope you get things taken care of today. 🙂 I am sure you will.

    • Jewells says:

      Your so funny! Thanks for the support. No, I haven’t heard from him. If I don’t hear from him really soon I’m going to take matters in my own hands. I’ve decided not to stress myself over getting some of these pictures matted (which need backboards) and just go with what I got. There’s always next time. He was going to take me to the awards show but the more I think about I may ask my son to be my escort. I’m tired of wondering what other people may or may not do. This is one of the reasons I have stayed out of relationships. My poor mind can’t take it. I’m such a obsessor until it makes me sick. In the past I usually have quit relationships when I started feeling this way and then I feel better. I’m going to be a nun until I die!

    • LOL, sometimes I feel like I should be alone for the rest of my life. I am just so hard to make happy… completely different case from yours… but I am realizing that I should be the one to make me happy, not anyone else. ♥ Yes, perhaps your son can be your escort… that would be lovely and then you wouldn’t have to worry about whether this guy gets back to you in time. Plus, maybe if you make other plans, it will teach him to step up his game. 🙂
      p.s. your pictures are AMAZING. So beautiful and eye-catching.

    • Jewells says:

      Thanks so much. Photography is my therapy and I love it. I’ll keeo in touch with you on the outcome of this week.

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