Is it Bipolar or Intuition

 

Magnolia- copyright 2014

Magnolia- copyright 2014

My calendar notifies me of an event I need to go and photograph.  I don’t want to go.  I don’t want to drive an hour in the dark.  I’m taking chances when I drive at night – I just can’t see the road.   I feel that they have enough photographer’s without me – they will be okay.  I’m not going to take a chance.  My intuition is strongly telling me it’s not wise and I like to believe my intuition.

The other night when I drove back from a dinner at the same location it  was around 8:30 pm.  It’s an hour drive down a long dark winding road in the country with no street lights just the blinding lights of the cars coming towards me.  I ran off the road at one point because I couldn’t tell there was a curve.  I was so nervous.  No I was terrified!

Sometimes I get confused wondering if it’s my bipolar making this decision or  just making the right  decision.  I don’t won’t to feel guilty every time I need to make a decision.  If I was putting the event in a bind I would go.  But I made sure  I  had a very good replacement.

This is how my life works – guilty, confusion, reality.

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