The Madness Takes Over – Yikes!

evil eyeBe! prepared I’m going to rant

I’m a mount of confusion.  I can’t think straight or make a decision on something I either want to buy or do. When this happens I get stressed and anxious.  This whole week has been stressful trying to make decisions 1) on where I want to go on vacation.  Yes that simple. 2) What camera do I really want ?  The evil eye is upon me.

I’d make 5 reservations to different hotels and locations because I couldn’t make up my mind. then I would question myself is this really where I want to stay, and is this really where I want to go?  I sometimes think money grows on trees.

All of this boiled up in me and I exploded.  Sweating, confused, anxious. It was so bad I ran out of the house, got in the car and raced to get some wine.  I was so happy that the bad feelings went away.  But guess what?  It all came back the next day.

I let the vacation sit for a few days and did some research. When I finally calmed down I asked myself what have I always wanted to do on a trip? I wanted to see waterfalls, stay in a cabin and make great photography. It was really by accident that I came across a cabin in the mountains with waterfalls. Yes, that’s it!  I booked it so fast my head spinned.  As my luck is the owner emailed me and said someone had already booked that cabin.  Rats!   But, he said he had another one a little nicer and would give it to me for the same price.  Yea!

On the other side – I’m not happy with the camera I bought – a Canon Rebel T5.  I don’t like it as much as the Nikon I had.  I couldn’t afford a new one so I immediately got on ebay and search for a used Nikon D90 and bought a new 18-105 f2.8 lens. No the megapixels aren’t that great but they were in those days.   I was using this Canon and I couldn’t figure out something so I lost my patience and got frustrated.  I need another camera!  If I don’t watch it I’ll have 4 or 5 cameras until I’m satisfied.

With ADD and manic depression decision-making is difficult especially getting older. My mind just spins out of control.  We need to just stop the madness and realized things will work out. It will make you sick..   Sometimes I wish I smoked again.

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