Lithium – Lethal with Alcohol!

I'm going to die if I don't stop!

I’ve never had support system from my family or peers on my Bipolar and Alcohol problem.  They were in denial.  I had to crawl out of that hell

hole called “alcoholism” alone then find the strength to changed my entire life.  It’s not easy to not grab a bottle of wine and go back into my old ways.  When I start feeling this way I reach for Higher Power and listen to my intuition. I pray.

Today my doctor increased my medications on Lithium  and Lamical medications.  She asked me about drinking and I had to admit I went to the beach with some people and had one glass of red wine.  She got real upset!  “Don’t do that it will interfere with your meds, plus it’s dangerous. It’ll kill you!m she said. No one has every talked to me in detail about my illness usually they just throw drug prescriptions they find in a med book – no talk.

I hope if anyone takes lithium – don’t drink with it or any other drugs.  I don’t want to have to read the headlines “Another person found dead by mixing medications with alcohol.”

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Bipolar & Alcoholism – Chance At A New Life Don’t Blow It

Sunrise at Wrightsville Beach NC

I moved to Wilmington, NC from living in Dallas, TX for 58 years.   The change was decided so I could be  near my son and grand children.  I’m a recovering alcoholic with Bipolar, ADD, and have been sober since April 2009.  

After the last bit of luggage was laid inside the front door of my charming new cottage sudden loneliness set in.  If you have been following me you would know that I have been taking care of my parents for two years who are 84 and both have Alzheimer’s. Before that I’d been living alone for more than 30 years since my divorce.  During those years I was also living as a person with Bipolar, ADD, and a drinking problem called alcoholism.

This move was a dream of mine and it still is.  I’ve just had some stumbles the last few days since I got here.  Unfortunately, there’s a grocery store across the street that carries beer and wine.  Not unfortunate for some,  but for me it’s easy access for my addictions.  I nust take it a day at a time.

I bought groceries on my first day and yes I bought a bottle of wine.  I wish my son had said something like, “Mom do you think that’s a good thing to do.”  He didn’t.   I enjoyed the wine, but I did not enjoy the morning after as well as the next morning.  Yes, two evenings in a roll.   That’s going to have to change. Especially, with diabetes as well.

Drinking wine keeps me from doing the things I enjoy and that’s reading, writing, research, painting, and photography.  That’s whole reason coming to the East Coast was to find my true self again.  And I will.  God  made this dream come true so I don’t won’t to disappoint him.  He spoke to me and said it was time to find out who I am.  I had followed my intuition for the last two-years and Gods words to get here.

I must consider this as a set back and not be hard on myself.   I’ll pick myself up and dust off the old memories and start anew. I was given this new chance and  new life to spend it with my son and to be a grandma.  It has been my dream for years.  I have a 1 and 3 year  who are loves of my life.  I screwed upmy past life I’m not going to mess of mynew  life.  From this day on no drinking.

Not only is drinking bad for your liver it’s not good for Bipolar.  That’s one of the reasons I drank – to stop the pain of Bipolar.  I’ve learned that you need to deal with your Bipolar to become stronger.

Moving to Wilmington, NC is going to be my new life and new lifted spirit to learn who I am.   I will be writing about my new life in a new blog coming soon.  Also, I will be writing my results from weaning myself off Effexor, the worse drug I’ve ever taken.  I’ve gone from 75  mg to 35 mg and next week I will taper down to 30 mg.  If that’s too much I’ll change to 32 mg.  Whatever it takes to get off this devilish pill I will do. That’s all need is to withdraw from Effexor and Wine at the same time.  WOW!  Put me in the Hospital!

My story on my new life will be coming soon to a new blog near you>>>

Bipolar: Free To Live

I'm Free!

Here I am in North Carolina in a sweet cottage only two blocks from the ocean.  I’m staying in a 700  sq. ft  dream house with 2 bedrooms and 2 baths.  I love it!  It may be small but it’s larger than the room I’ve been staying in before. 

My parents have Alzheimer’s/Dementia – I was living with them to make sure no harm could come to them.  But, the harm seem to come to me.  They just didn’t care about anything.

I was staying in a small, I mean small, bedroom room in the back of my parents house and sleeping in a small twin bed. I hardly left the room unless I went to the book store or to take my parents to the doctor or grocery store.  It got to the point where I couldn’t stay in the same room as my parents I know that’s sad, but they treated me like I owed them all the time.  I was taken advantage of and talked to terribly.  They forgot the reason I was there. I love my parents and that’s why I moved in two years ago when it was decided they needed help.  But, the longer I stayed there the worse it got.  I wasn’t treated like a daughter, but a servant.  It was so hurtful. 

My mom started drinking more and more. She told me she was 84  and she could do what she wanted and she did. I  told  her drinking and pills didn’t go together, but she said she didn’t care.  She was ready to go to her maker.  I’m a recovering alcoholic and I watched my mother  go to the refrigerator every afternoon at 3pm and pour a glass a wine after wine until she passes out in her chair.  She would forget to take her medication so I said, “Mom do you realize how hard it is to watch you drink?  It makes me want to drink with you.”  “Sure, join me,” she would say.  I couldn’t take it any more.  I had to think about my survival and well-being.  I had to leave.  Now was the time to be a mom and grandmother.

Having bipolar and living in this kind environment was not good for me.  I found myself crying and feeling unloved.  I had to ask for hugs.  Mom, told  me once that she just wasn’t like that because my dad never was nor her parents.  I need hugs.  I liked the feeling when a warm loving person can  put their arms around me and say “I Love You.”   

I desperately wanted to be needed.  I have a son, grand children, and a beautiful daughter-in-law that I want to get to know.  My son was in the army from the time he graduated from high school until he left the army 6 1/2 years later.  Then he left for a great job in Wilmington, NC.  The whole time I felt abandoned and alone.  The part of me that I treasured the most was gone.  That was 8-years ago and now my dream has come true.  I’m now getting to know my son again, as well as my grand children and daughter-in- law.

My son has become more attentive. Maybe he sees that I’m not healthy as I was 6-7 years ago.  He has always thought of me as that young good-looking mom who could do anything.  He was always proud to introduce me to his friends. When he saw me get off the plane holding a walking cane I think the moment changed.  Now, he seems to be more attentive and calls me more than he did before.  I feel loved and needed.  I now have my family that I’ve so wanted for a long time.

Today, I feel great.