My world came crashing down a month ago. I lost my best friend and mom.
Mom was 90 years old, but still beautiful. She had Merkel Cell Carcinoma cancer, and cervical cancer. I saw her dying in front of my eyes. It was so hard. I think about calling her everyday, because we talked just about everyday. I feel like I lost part of me since we were so much alike. I can see her face and that beautiful smile, laugh, and her wonderful since of humor. I loved her so much. Now both parents are gone. I feel so alone.
Having bipolar and depression is difficult in itself managing during difficult times. Within the last few months I found out I have fibromyalgia, and Parkinson Disease. This has been hard too. I ask the doctor why do older adults start getting all these bad things.
It took 5 years to finally get a diagnosis. I was going to orthopedic doctors and all they wanted to do is give me injections. I got sick of it. So I tried a rheumatologist. He does not have a good bedside manner, but, he ran a bunch of test and came to the conclusion I have fibromyalgia. I was in so much pain. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. But there was other symptoms and he said, ” I don’t do that.” I hate hearing those words. I made an appointment with my neurologist, whom I adore. He diagnosed me with neuropathy about 6 months ago, and now Parkinson’s Disease. He gave me some new medication, Carbidopa-levodopa that I have been taking for a few days.
My neurologist was able to see sympthoms; tremors, my posture , walking, and other symptoms of Parkinson’s disease since I was having a bad day.. I had all of the following symptoms:
- Tremor. A tremor, or shaking, usually begins in a limb, often your hand or fingers. You may notice a back-and-forth rubbing of your thumb and forefinger, known as a pill-rolling tremor. One characteristic of Parkinson’s disease is a tremor of your hand when it is relaxed (at rest).
- Slowed movement (bradykinesia). Over time, Parkinson’s disease may reduce your ability to move and slow your movement, making simple tasks difficult and time-consuming. Your steps may become shorter when you walk, or you may find it difficult to get out of a chair. Also, you may drag your feet as you try to walk, making it difficult to move.
- Rigid muscles. Muscle stiffness may occur in any part of your body. The stiff muscles can limit your range of motion and cause you pain.
- Impaired posture and balance. Your posture may become stooped, or you may have balance problems as a result of Parkinson’s disease.
- Loss of automatic movements. In Parkinson’s disease, you may have a decreased ability to perform unconscious movements, including blinking, smiling or swinging your arms when you walk.
- Speech changes. You may have speech problems as a result of Parkinson’s disease. You may speak softly, quickly, slur or hesitate before talking. Your speech may be more of a monotone rather than with the usual inflections.
- Writing changes. It may become hard to write, and your writing may appear small.
My writing has become scribbly and small. It’s gotten hard. I’ve always had speech problems, but it’s gotten worse. I fall off balance and also fall. When I fall I don’t have the strength to pull myself up. My walking is bad. I walk stiff and baby steps.
I hope this is helpful to someone else. I will talk about Fibromyalgia in another post.