Not Without My Prescriptions You Don’t

3am-cant-sleepI’ve always made sure that I take my Bipolar and my Blood Pressure medications.  I have a fear of what could happen. What kind of withdrawals and anxiety I would get.  Taking your medications for any reason is very important.  It can cause a setback.

On Monday,  February 10th I ordered all of my medications – Lithium, Celexa, Buspirone, Trazodone, and my 3 blood pressure medications.  Because of the weather I wanted to make sure I had them, plus I was out of  four of them.. The main one I wanted to make sure I had been my Trazodone. (Desyrel) I’ve been taking it over 30+ years at night.  Now 61, I was in my 30’s when I started taking it.

I started taking Trazodone because of my panic attacks.  After my abusive marriage I was having panic attacks at night and would wake in the middle of the night sweating and feeling like I was having a heart attack. I was having nightmares every night – usually of someone stalking me.  I grew to have insomnia every night.  I was having a hard time working and maintaining my daily life. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and went to doctor.  There he gave me the Tradozone. 

I’ve had a fear of not been able to sleep, as well as,  dying in my sleep. Plus, I don’t want nightmares.  Not having my Trazodone this week has put me back in those times of not sleeping. I’ve been staying up till 3 or 4 am in the morning with thoughts of not going to sleep at all.  I checked the mail yesterday and still no medications.  My blood pressure is starting to rise and that’s not  a good thing. I’ve had several mini strokes and those are the ones I try to keep on hand.  Fortunately, I have a supply of Lithium and Celexa.  I have no idea what would happen if I went a week without them and I don’t want to find out.

Maintaining your Bipolar medication is very important to your well-being.

Manic Kicks In When The Sun Goes Down

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights

Now with daylight savings time darkness comes pretty late, and then I can’t settle down. I’ll think of all kinds of things to. My mind is always racing – endless chatter.  Like right now – I’m all wired up and can’t seem to close this damn computer.  I just sit in this bed working on Facebook, playing with my photographs, and reading.  I can’t seem to get anything right in my opinion.

I’m trying to select some pictures to sell at the art show, along with my juried one.  I CAN’T MAKE A DECISION!  I’ve played with them so much I’ll probably screw them up.  This digital photography is almost too much for my ADD and Bipolar mind.  But, I keep trying I’ll give myself that.  I’ve always loved a challenge, and I’ll keep trying until I succeed or not.  I’m the type that takes the hardest stuff first, and then work myself down to what should have been the first challenge.  For instance, I’m trying to teach myself Adobe Photoshop.   It’s so technical, but if you can master it you will succeed.  Some of the pictures on this site was edited in Photoshop.

I work very hard at everything I do.  I grew up being very hard on myself – I just don’t like failing. My dad once said to me “you quit every thing you start.”  I guess that’s why I’m this way.

It’s time to move on – have a great evening.