Living While you Can

Been through a lot since my last writing. I’m sorry, but my hands cramp up but I’ll do what I can.

I’m 66 and feel I’m too young to have all these problems —-Parkinsons-disease, fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, Arthritis,  Cervical and lower back herniated disc.  With all these problems I never know which disease or pain to treat.

I’e done what I can like physical therapy to help balance, yoga, and walking.  Medicine and exercise is only temporary if you don’t keep it up. And that’s hard to do when your in pain. But I’ve got to do it. My life just seems to be pasting by quickly.

I’m alone and have no help. When I fall there’s no one to pick me up. I don’ just fall. I fall over furniture and break beautiful vases. Fall off the bed and knock over night stand. I just fall. I never know when it’ll happen. All I can do is hold on to life and hope.

I’ll keep designing and making jewelry and painting. As long as I have inspiration and can create I’m alive.

 

 

 

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Fibromyalgia – The Chronic Demon

Painless World

I’ve talked about the diagnosis, now, Fibromyalgia is now my story.  I call it “The Chronic Demon.”

You never know when this demon will sneak up on you.  But I do know it’s worse in the morning.  I’m an early riser, because I go to bed pretty early.  Just so tired of holding my body up all day.  Pain is exhausting.  The numbness in my hands and feet are undeniably cruel.  Lately my wrists have decided they want to join this rest of my joints.

My memory and brain are confused.  I lose things chronically, forgettable, and there’s a lot of times I just stare into space.  My motivation is lacking.  And, f I work on one of my projects I’m tired within 30 minutes and wait until the next time.

I also have ADHD and bipolar.  These days I don’t know who I am or what I am.  I don’t have any support.  I live alone and try my best to take care of myself.

Lately everything is getting hard; laundry, vacuuming, cleaning house, and even making my jewelry.  My poor dog isn’t getting he’s walking in.  He doesn’t understand.

And having other people help is embarrassing to me.  My mom who just passed away was the same.  Even though she had vertigo and knee problems wouldn’t dare get into a wheelchair or carry a cane until she got into her late 80’s.  She died this year at 90. Miss you mom.

Fibromyalgia affects people physically, mentally and socially. m one of those people who likes to stay busy.  The literal translation of the word fibromyalgia is pain in the muscles, ligaments and tendons. There is no cure for fibromyalgia. So we’re stuck with this madness. They say Multi-disciplinary approaches for management and relief of symptoms are often recommended.  Medications, cognitive behavioral therapies, and gentle exercise are the most common combinations.  Medications I take  are Gabapentin, Naproxtin, and Cabidopa/Levodopa.  Why can’t they give medication an easy name.  I can’t pronounce most of them.

If there are others with this “Chronic Demon” I’d love to hear your story