I Need a Friend

Black Rose

Yesterday, and today, I feel like I have no friends.  Like everyone has abandoned me.  Did I do something wrong?  Am I imagining it?

I see the people I know having all kinds of fun.¬† I see my guy friend having fun with the girls in our photography group without me.¬† I don’t know what this is all about, but I’m feeling really left out and alone.¬† It may be¬†nothing, but I don’t like this gut terrifying¬†feeling I am having.

The one thing that I haven’t done in a long time I’m doing now. Drinking.¬† It’s my way of curbing the hurt I’m feeling.¬† I don’t like feeling this way, not a bit.¬† I can’t sleep and I obsess.¬† So what do I do?

My week – went to the beach by myself, ate at my favorite restaurant by myself, went to the beach for the sunset by myself and tonight I’m all alone wishing I wasn’t.

So tell me is it this bipolar and my obsessive imagination?  I just wish for once my life was satisfying and fulfilled!  Just once.  I need a friend.