It’s been almost a year since I’ve written about Bipolar. I have gone through so many changes and I’m still not sure of everything. There’s so much I want to share with other Bipolar and ADD people so I hope your out there. Other problems, high blood pressure, vertigo, early stages of dementia. I’m doom.
I don’t want to feel alone. Which is what I’ve been feeling most of my life. I haven’t had a true friend longer than I can remember. I seem to have become a anti social person and I love people. What have I done to try to pull myself out of this funk? I’ve gotten more involved in my photography by shooting fashion shows, portraits and head shots for actors. It’s good therapy too. Also, I started doing extra work in films here in North Carolina with my first one being Iron Man 3. I have many Facebook friends. Friends? Not one true friend.
I imagine that people hate me and not want to be around me. I never get ask to do anything. My imagination is what causes most of my problems. This has caused me to isolate myself so I won’t put myself in situations where I’ll say something stupid or do something wrong. Words come out of my mouth that I don’t mean.
An example of my imagination and forgetfulness. I was feeling really lonely this week when I thought I hadn’t heard from my son for a long time. I felt I had done or said something wrong. He’s my only son so it makes it even worse. I had just seen him 6 days ago so time as been a problem with me as well.
This is just the beginning of catching up. Since I’m very forgetful I’ll need to go through my journal to help me.
I’m open to any suggestions or comments. 🙂