I did it! I Passed My Test

DSC_0015My Art Opening for my photography was last night.  I was so afraid that no one would look at it or like it.  My problem is confidence. But, that went away last night during the event.  I sold several pieces of photography and some postcards.  I was so happy!  Not only that but a magazine and newspaper are interest in my work.  I sure needed this. It gives incentive to try more and harder. But not over do it.

I have a tendency to overdo something like once I dabbled in  jewelry – I spend so much money on findings, beads, and other needed equipment.  I bought and bought and bought, and now, I have a box of it I’ll never use.   As with photography I needed to be careful in overspending on matting, frames, getting pictures printed – the whole shebang.  To put it bluntly I’m a compulsive buyer and that’s why I’m always broke.  I wish I had someone who could take my money and teach me wisely.  But I’ve always been that way.  If I had a dime I would spend.

I just can’t comprehend the importance of not spending.  I forget what happens if I spend that dollar unwisely. I forget to write it down, I forget my doctor appointments, and on and on.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get it.  I had many opportunities to have a lot of savings for my future.  I spent it all.

Now, how did I get from my Art Gallery opening to doctor appointments.  Go figure!

 

Advertisements

Being Fearful Can Be Life Changing

Daisy Can Be a Rose.

I wanted to share something that I have been doing for the last two weeks.  It has surprised me for the fact that I did it and finished it.  I was a little fearful, but made it.  I was selected to be an extra in a motion picture.  I was to be on the set for 3 nights and mornings – 6pm – 6am.  My negative side was telling me I couldn’t do it. I was scared that I couldn’t  function those hours.  Afraid of falling, afraid of saying something, afraid of just not getting it, and that I would be to fat (I’m not).  I almost gave up a good thing because I was so negative and fearful.  Mainly, no self-confidence.   I made myself do it.  I remember daddy saying that I never finished what I started.  I was going to prove him wrong.

I arrived at the studios at 6pm.  I had no idea where to park so I was panicking.  I did find someone to ask then things got better.  I didn’t know anyone.  This made it a little more scary.  I signed in and was given wardrobe to wear and then asked to sit down and wait for what I will be doing.  I was surrounded by some really nice and funny people whom I ended up bonding with and becoming friends.   I was lucky enough of having a couple of guys helping me understand the directions or even hear them. (I have bad hearing)  I could just look in their directions and they would tell me if it was my que or something. If the director said something and I couldn’t get it I could look at them and they would nod or whisper the que.  I didn’t understand some of the movie lingo, but I will tell you I learned.  For some reason people felt attached and comfortable around me.  It’s always been that way – young people liking me. I never could understand that, but it made me feel good.

I was in just about every scene they had so I may be in the movies!

Just think I might have missed an exciting time in my life out of fear.  I’ve missed so much in my life out of fear and lack of self-esteem.  But now I’m fighting back.  I hope to do more movie work – maybe you’ll see me in the movies.

I still have Bipolar and probably always will, but I found you can still do things to fulfill your life. They’re some nice people out there that don’t mind helping, and I’m so lucky I was helped.  I also added a couple of new friends.

Get out there – be strong – something good just might happen.