My Art Opening for my photography was last night. I was so afraid that no one would look at it or like it. My problem is confidence. But, that went away last night during the event. I sold several pieces of photography and some postcards. I was so happy! Not only that but a magazine and newspaper are interest in my work. I sure needed this. It gives incentive to try more and harder. But not over do it.
I have a tendency to overdo something like once I dabbled in jewelry – I spend so much money on findings, beads, and other needed equipment. I bought and bought and bought, and now, I have a box of it I’ll never use. As with photography I needed to be careful in overspending on matting, frames, getting pictures printed – the whole shebang. To put it bluntly I’m a compulsive buyer and that’s why I’m always broke. I wish I had someone who could take my money and teach me wisely. But I’ve always been that way. If I had a dime I would spend.
I just can’t comprehend the importance of not spending. I forget what happens if I spend that dollar unwisely. I forget to write it down, I forget my doctor appointments, and on and on. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it. I had many opportunities to have a lot of savings for my future. I spent it all.
Now, how did I get from my Art Gallery opening to doctor appointments. Go figure!
Daisy Can Be a Rose.
I wanted to share something that I have been doing for the last two weeks. It has surprised me for the fact that I did it and finished it. I was a little fearful, but made it. I was selected to be an extra in a motion picture. I was to be on the set for 3 nights and mornings – 6pm – 6am. My negative side was telling me I couldn’t do it. I was scared that I couldn’t function those hours. Afraid of falling, afraid of saying something, afraid of just not getting it, and that I would be to fat (I’m not). I almost gave up a good thing because I was so negative and fearful. Mainly, no self-confidence. I made myself do it. I remember daddy saying that I never finished what I started. I was going to prove him wrong.
I arrived at the studios at 6pm. I had no idea where to park so I was panicking. I did find someone to ask then things got better. I didn’t know anyone. This made it a little more scary. I signed in and was given wardrobe to wear and then asked to sit down and wait for what I will be doing. I was surrounded by some really nice and funny people whom I ended up bonding with and becoming friends. I was lucky enough of having a couple of guys helping me understand the directions or even hear them. (I have bad hearing) I could just look in their directions and they would tell me if it was my que or something. If the director said something and I couldn’t get it I could look at them and they would nod or whisper the que. I didn’t understand some of the movie lingo, but I will tell you I learned. For some reason people felt attached and comfortable around me. It’s always been that way – young people liking me. I never could understand that, but it made me feel good.
I was in just about every scene they had so I may be in the movies!
Just think I might have missed an exciting time in my life out of fear. I’ve missed so much in my life out of fear and lack of self-esteem. But now I’m fighting back. I hope to do more movie work – maybe you’ll see me in the movies.
I still have Bipolar and probably always will, but I found you can still do things to fulfill your life. They’re some nice people out there that don’t mind helping, and I’m so lucky I was helped. I also added a couple of new friends.
Get out there – be strong – something good just might happen.