I don’t know about you but the bipolar is getting to me. These last two weeks have been a bummer. I’ve been down. I mean down. I get tired easy. I take long naps and just sit and stare at the TV. I’m not keeping up with my eBay store. The house has been very stressful and dark.
My mom who has bipolar and dementia has been a handful. I decided that she complains about her pains to get attention. When we finally made her go to the doctor she was fine. The doctor wanted to do some GI tests and she said NO. She just wants to lay around, moan, and complain and drink her wine.
I am a recovering alcoholic and this has been difficult for me. The stress is threatening my sobriety. I told my mom this and she said, “Well, if you drink my wine you will have to get me some more.” I said, Mom, I’m more concerned about myself than your wine. It’s your wine that’s threatening my health.” I was so hurt. She just set there and looked blank. That’s what she does. Around 3pm she gets her first glass of wine and sits and stares at the TV.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom but it’s getting out of control. This morning she said, “Your dad gets mad at me when I tell him I’m not feeling well.” I couldn’t help it but I said, “Well your never feeling good.” We never know when you are or not. It’s like cry wolf.”
Mom also gets mad at dad because he wants her to cook something for lunch. She doesn’t cook dinner. Lunch is opening a bag of stir fry, heating it up, stirring and serving it. Then she goes and gets back in her chair. She eats in her room and dad eats alone.
It’s really a sad situation and it breaks my heart. Dad sits in his recliner in the den watching his TV, and mom sits in her recliner in her bedroom watching her TV. Dad feels alone and lonely. Two separate feelings. He has vascular dementia none of this is easy.
The most difficult problem is when we discuss a problem or situation they never remember what’s said. It’s as if I need to take notes. I do make sure all the doctor appointments are documented, when blood tests were done, & when the next blood test is scheduled. Also, I have to keep track of their medicines. They both take about 11-14 pills a day each. Dad is pretty good taking his. It’s a ritual for him every morning.
Mom hates taking pills. Sometimes she forgets on purpose and when she runs out doesn’t she doesn’t tell me. I have to make sure I keep track of that. It’s a full-time job!
Then, there’s me. I have Bipolar, early stages of Dementia, Hepatitis C, Hypertension, and the list goes on. I have a hard time taking care of me.
So why am I down? I don’t know you tell me.