Fibromyalgia – The Chronic Demon

Painless World

I’ve talked about the diagnosis, now, Fibromyalgia is now my story.  I call it “The Chronic Demon.”

You never know when this demon will sneak up on you.  But I do know it’s worse in the morning.  I’m an early riser, because I go to bed pretty early.  Just so tired of holding my body up all day.  Pain is exhausting.  The numbness in my hands and feet are undeniably cruel.  Lately my wrists have decided they want to join this rest of my joints.

My memory and brain are confused.  I lose things chronically, forgettable, and there’s a lot of times I just stare into space.  My motivation is lacking.  And, f I work on one of my projects I’m tired within 30 minutes and wait until the next time.

I also have ADHD and bipolar.  These days I don’t know who I am or what I am.  I don’t have any support.  I live alone and try my best to take care of myself.

Lately everything is getting hard; laundry, vacuuming, cleaning house, and even making my jewelry.  My poor dog isn’t getting he’s walking in.  He doesn’t understand.

And having other people help is embarrassing to me.  My mom who just passed away was the same.  Even though she had vertigo and knee problems wouldn’t dare get into a wheelchair or carry a cane until she got into her late 80’s.  She died this year at 90. Miss you mom.

Fibromyalgia affects people physically, mentally and socially. m one of those people who likes to stay busy.  The literal translation of the word fibromyalgia is pain in the muscles, ligaments and tendons. There is no cure for fibromyalgia. So we’re stuck with this madness. They say Multi-disciplinary approaches for management and relief of symptoms are often recommended.  Medications, cognitive behavioral therapies, and gentle exercise are the most common combinations.  Medications I take  are Gabapentin, Naproxtin, and Cabidopa/Levodopa.  Why can’t they give medication an easy name.  I can’t pronounce most of them.

If there are others with this “Chronic Demon” I’d love to hear your story

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Fibromyalgia Syndrome

I’m still struggling with depression and anxiety.  Just when you think you feel okay you relapse.  Another interference is my physical problems., which I’ve been told can cause physical problems. Does it every end?

I’ve been going to doctors for 6 years now with this pain that controls my body.  I’ve received x-ray’s, mri’s, ct scans, injections, nerve conduction study, you name it.  No one could figure out where the pain was coming from.  Well except, I do have osteoporosis, neuropathy, and arthritis.  LOL!   The orthopedic talked about surgery on my neck, but when I heard of the risks, I declined. I went to a neurologist for the study and found out about the neuropathy, and was given Gabapentin, which helps the nerve pain, especially restless legs.  He then recomended a Rheumatologist.

The Rheumatologists ran a ton of blood test and came to the conclusion I do have some rheumatism, but also gave it a name “Fibromyalgia”.  I guess that’s what they call it when they fcan’t igure out what it is.

The pain I have can be intense everywhere especially my legs and feet. I have spots on my fingertips that can really hurt when I touch them. My hands go numb and feels like needles all over even my arms.  I could never get out of bed at lease 30 minutes after taking the Gabapentin .  I couldn’t move!  I had no strength in my body and still don’t. Walking was an adventure stumbling all over the place.  Even my brain feels confused and disoriented.

The rheumatolgist prescribed to start with Predinisone, a steriod.  For the first month I could actually get out of bed and go walking.  I could drive longer distances without pain. He told me I couldn’t be on it forever.  I’m now on my second prescription with lower doses and it’s not as productive.  So I don’t know what comes next.  I just don’t want to go back to the beginning.

I paint and do photography so this has been disabiling for me. Below is some of work in my Etsy shop for sale.


Etsy Shop