Not Feeling Anything

This is the way I’m feeling today – Anxious and nothing..  Why? I have so many feelings contained inside of me, and I’m blocking them off so I don’t feel them. But then another side of me takes over and I start feeling anxious and I can’t breathe. Does this make sense to you?

I’m in one of those states when I feel everything is going so well – then suddenly, I feel they’re not. I  become very overwhelmed, and the confidence I had before seems to be fading away.

My photography is what I have, and I’m feeling very negative right now.  Why? I think all my work sucks!  Tomorrow, I may think different, but today – it fails. I’m feeling really stuck.

I know this to will past.  I just hate these days.

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Manic Kicks In When The Sun Goes Down

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights

Now with daylight savings time darkness comes pretty late, and then I can’t settle down. I’ll think of all kinds of things to. My mind is always racing – endless chatter.  Like right now – I’m all wired up and can’t seem to close this damn computer.  I just sit in this bed working on Facebook, playing with my photographs, and reading.  I can’t seem to get anything right in my opinion.

I’m trying to select some pictures to sell at the art show, along with my juried one.  I CAN’T MAKE A DECISION!  I’ve played with them so much I’ll probably screw them up.  This digital photography is almost too much for my ADD and Bipolar mind.  But, I keep trying I’ll give myself that.  I’ve always loved a challenge, and I’ll keep trying until I succeed or not.  I’m the type that takes the hardest stuff first, and then work myself down to what should have been the first challenge.  For instance, I’m trying to teach myself Adobe Photoshop.   It’s so technical, but if you can master it you will succeed.  Some of the pictures on this site was edited in Photoshop.

I work very hard at everything I do.  I grew up being very hard on myself – I just don’t like failing. My dad once said to me “you quit every thing you start.”  I guess that’s why I’m this way.

It’s time to move on – have a great evening.