I wanted to share something that I have been doing for the last two weeks. It has surprised me for the fact that I did it and finished it. I was a little fearful, but made it. I was selected to be an extra in a motion picture. I was to be on the set for 3 nights and mornings – 6pm – 6am. My negative side was telling me I couldn’t do it. I was scared that I couldn’t function those hours. Afraid of falling, afraid of saying something, afraid of just not getting it, and that I would be to fat (I’m not). I almost gave up a good thing because I was so negative and fearful. Mainly, no self-confidence. I made myself do it. I remember daddy saying that I never finished what I started. I was going to prove him wrong.
I arrived at the studios at 6pm. I had no idea where to park so I was panicking. I did find someone to ask then things got better. I didn’t know anyone. This made it a little more scary. I signed in and was given wardrobe to wear and then asked to sit down and wait for what I will be doing. I was surrounded by some really nice and funny people whom I ended up bonding with and becoming friends. I was lucky enough of having a couple of guys helping me understand the directions or even hear them. (I have bad hearing) I could just look in their directions and they would tell me if it was my que or something. If the director said something and I couldn’t get it I could look at them and they would nod or whisper the que. I didn’t understand some of the movie lingo, but I will tell you I learned. For some reason people felt attached and comfortable around me. It’s always been that way – young people liking me. I never could understand that, but it made me feel good.
I was in just about every scene they had so I may be in the movies!
Just think I might have missed an exciting time in my life out of fear. I’ve missed so much in my life out of fear and lack of self-esteem. But now I’m fighting back. I hope to do more movie work – maybe you’ll see me in the movies.
I still have Bipolar and probably always will, but I found you can still do things to fulfill your life. They’re some nice people out there that don’t mind helping, and I’m so lucky I was helped. I also added a couple of new friends.
Get out there – be strong – something good just might happen.