ADHD Kicking My Butt

imagesCADYGCO0My parents feel I had ADHD when I was young and that was in the early 60’s through high school and most of my life. However, back in those days they didn’t know what ADHD was.  We just know I had a learning problem.  I couldn’t focus, hyper and my attention span was short. I couldn’t go to college because I could never past the TASP.

Today I feel much smarter.  I google everything I don’t understand like definitions. What is certain lingo on photography, etc.  However, the ADHD is still there.  I had some testing done and it seems it has gotten worse in age.  Things are so much harder. Things I use to know I don’t know.  Like making a square knot.  I can be sitting at a red light and go off in space then wonder where I am.  The only time I’m in focus is photography.  I couldn’t buy one of those Expensive Nikon or Canon cameras with all that computer jigs on it. Too much trouble.  I just want to take a good picture, with great composition and lighting.

I have to deal with ADHD everyday – what day is it, where is my keys, I know I put it there, etc.  I hate it. I don’t drive as much as requested by the doctors.  My car can sit parked for days.  I just do a lot of walking.  I do attend to be anti-social.

I have to deal with my life with no help from anyone as far as support.  I’ve gotten by since the 70’s, living alone.  I’ve had to figure things out myself and it’s hard but it makes me stronger.  I actually feel smarter today because I’m a very curious person, a need to know person.  I google everything.  I can’t read a book but I can google.  Hum…

Don’t give up on life. Pick a hobby and stick with it.  Do the best you can that’s all you can do.