Acceptance

Rose-antiquesigThere are many things that happen in our life that aren’t fair – illness, or injury.  Accepting these situations means focusing your strength and energy on letting go of yourself to God, and he’ll see you through the hard times,  Or let the anger, frustration, sadness and self-pity destroy you.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

–Proverbs 3:5-6

Advertisements

Mind Games Or Bipolar?

Mind Games

Mind Games

Do you ever feel like your mind is playing games with you?  Do you think people are talking about you behind your back?  How about lying to you?   Blatantly, I don’t trust anyone.

Presently, I’m talking to my therapist that I do trust, because I’m paying her, to help me with these mind games.   I lost all my confidence in life because I’ve never actually been loved by anyone that truly cares for me. Of course, my immediate family and child do.  My marriage was a shamble and my relationships were abusive.  I don’t trust anything someone tells me..  I feel like I’m disliked when I’m not.  It’s a miserable world when everyday I feel this way.  I would like a relationship with a man.  But how if I don’t believe him or trust him?   If I’m not around people I don’t have to worry what people think or say or how to act. Is this anti-social?

I’m no fearful of being hurt I don’t allow myself to let someone in my heart.  I protect myself by not putting myself out there.  When I meet a man I try to think of everything that can be  wrong with him – then I want like him.

My mind is keeping me from being in a loving relationship with someone.  My mind is causing issues with my friends and family.  Could this be the bipolar causing my problems.  Will I ever stop feeling this way.  How to I get confidence again.

Make the Most of Adderall – ADHD

Rx Pyramid

Rx Pyramid (Photo credit: Cult Gigolo)

 

 

Another evening of no sleep.  I go through these occasionally when I’m taking Adderall.  But,  all in all I believe Adderall has helped me a lot.  It’s giving me an all new outside world.  It’s given me the gift of listening again.  I find myself thinking like an adult again and go forward with the life I want to live.

 

I’m having shoulder replacement shoulder in a week. First, I was feeling sorry for myself and felt like I didn’t have any friends. It’s called a “Pity Party.” I bet you know what those are all about.  But then it was like whammy – I got all of these friends that I didn’t know I had.

 

I’ve been all alone most of my life I didn’t know what a friend look or felt like.  I’ve been abused so much of my life I just didn’t trust anyone so I overlooked the possibilities of a friend.  Mostly I just wanted to hide from the world and forget what I could have had.

 

Now, I want it all.  I’m even have thoughts of a relationship again but very slowly. I haven’t been in a relation for 8 years .  Now, I would like a relationship, but not sure how.  I will tell you the most attractive guys that I have met are all married or in a relationship.  But, they’re the easiest to talk to.   The single ones are still in their game style and always on the defense.  I want someone who is laid back, no baggage, no kids, and honest.  I also want to be on their number 1 list.

 

So does that mean I will be waiting a long time?  Maybe being on Adderall will help me believe in myself and accept what is brought in front of me.

 

Importantly, anyone that is ADHD, PLEASE, try this drug it will make all the difference in your life.  As long as your monitored by a doctor and find the right dosage.  Remember – the dosage they give you may not be the right one.  Experiment until you find the one for you.