Results from Withdrawing from Effexor XR Antidepressant

It’s now December 18, 2010 and I’ve been weaning myself off Effexor for over a month and my milligrams are down to 30 mg.  For the first two-three weeks it wasn’t so much fun.  There’s was a pattern of its effects it been time released. 

My mornings start with a cup of coffee, checking my blood sugar, and taking my Bipolar, high blood pressure, antidepressants, including Effexor.  After about 2 hours taking Effexor I would get nauseous, along with a sudden feeling of fatigue.  Where ever I was at the time, I would have to stop and take time out and then after a while, I would try to get home.  Once home I’d hit the bed an sleep  for a few hours.  It seemed the medicine would kick in again in the evening, but this time with a spurt of energy sometimes with anxiety.  I would stay up until late – sometimes 3 or 4am. I would have to take a anxiety pill, Lorespam.  I hated it.

Each week I would take a granule out lowering the dosage.  Today, I’m at 30 mg and I think that’s where I’ll stay.  When I tried to go lower I would have memory problems, confusion, etc. In fact, I felt like my bipolar was worse.   My memory is getting worse, but I’m not sure from what.  I have parents, grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles who all had Alzheimer’s/Demenaiaa. When you have so many issues going on it’s hard to single out what disease is causing the problem.  That is so frustrating to me.

I’ll keep trying to make this antidepressant work, because it does work you just have to find the right dosage.  I think if I went off of it completely it would be a bad idea.  Maybe one day.  I’ve hard some horror stories and I don’t want to b e one of them.  So, I’ll continue counting out the tiny beads and take my dosage, but I’ll save the leftovers just in case.  I don’t have insurance and this medicine is expensive. 

Why do we need to have pills to function our lives?  I’m so tired of it!  My genetics have played a role in most of my illnesses and disease.  Something that I’ll take with me to my grave, but that won’t be soon.  I still have a lot of life in me to play with my grand children who are an important factor in my life.  I’ll keep trying to live and not lay down to die.

Bipolar & Alcoholism – Chance At A New Life Don’t Blow It

Sunrise at Wrightsville Beach NC

I moved to Wilmington, NC from living in Dallas, TX for 58 years.   The change was decided so I could be  near my son and grand children.  I’m a recovering alcoholic with Bipolar, ADD, and have been sober since April 2009.  

After the last bit of luggage was laid inside the front door of my charming new cottage sudden loneliness set in.  If you have been following me you would know that I have been taking care of my parents for two years who are 84 and both have Alzheimer’s. Before that I’d been living alone for more than 30 years since my divorce.  During those years I was also living as a person with Bipolar, ADD, and a drinking problem called alcoholism.

This move was a dream of mine and it still is.  I’ve just had some stumbles the last few days since I got here.  Unfortunately, there’s a grocery store across the street that carries beer and wine.  Not unfortunate for some,  but for me it’s easy access for my addictions.  I nust take it a day at a time.

I bought groceries on my first day and yes I bought a bottle of wine.  I wish my son had said something like, “Mom do you think that’s a good thing to do.”  He didn’t.   I enjoyed the wine, but I did not enjoy the morning after as well as the next morning.  Yes, two evenings in a roll.   That’s going to have to change. Especially, with diabetes as well.

Drinking wine keeps me from doing the things I enjoy and that’s reading, writing, research, painting, and photography.  That’s whole reason coming to the East Coast was to find my true self again.  And I will.  God  made this dream come true so I don’t won’t to disappoint him.  He spoke to me and said it was time to find out who I am.  I had followed my intuition for the last two-years and Gods words to get here.

I must consider this as a set back and not be hard on myself.   I’ll pick myself up and dust off the old memories and start anew. I was given this new chance and  new life to spend it with my son and to be a grandma.  It has been my dream for years.  I have a 1 and 3 year  who are loves of my life.  I screwed upmy past life I’m not going to mess of mynew  life.  From this day on no drinking.

Not only is drinking bad for your liver it’s not good for Bipolar.  That’s one of the reasons I drank – to stop the pain of Bipolar.  I’ve learned that you need to deal with your Bipolar to become stronger.

Moving to Wilmington, NC is going to be my new life and new lifted spirit to learn who I am.   I will be writing about my new life in a new blog coming soon.  Also, I will be writing my results from weaning myself off Effexor, the worse drug I’ve ever taken.  I’ve gone from 75  mg to 35 mg and next week I will taper down to 30 mg.  If that’s too much I’ll change to 32 mg.  Whatever it takes to get off this devilish pill I will do. That’s all need is to withdraw from Effexor and Wine at the same time.  WOW!  Put me in the Hospital!

My story on my new life will be coming soon to a new blog near you>>>

Bipolar: Back on my own again

 

My Guardian Angel - Astar

I’m taking a giant step in a few weeks.  I’m moving to North Carolina after living with my folks for two years taking care of the who have Alzheimer’s.  Doctors tell me I need to take care of me.  At the same time I’m slowing going to ween myself off Effexor XR.   I don’t know what’s worse the drug or going through security at the airport and being manhandled.  The last time I went they frisked me.  I did not like. My bipolar really kicks in at the airports.  I get mad…..I tried to maintain myself.

Anyway, the lord must be working his ways in me.  I have asked for this dream for a long time.  Since I’ve learned how to use my intuition I’ve learned how to work the rules.  I was looking for a cottage on Carolina Beach.  I had put an ad  on Facebook and boom not even a day went by when I contacted about a nice 3 bedroom cottage near the beach. All furnished only $675 a month!  I couldn’t believe it.  That’s about half of what I get from social security disability payments.  I just have to sell a lot of sunglasses and other product. 

While I am in Wilmington, NC , I was going to look for a permanent place to live.  My son, two grand babies live there and I want to watch them grow up before I get too old.  I’ve always wanted to be grandma and be close to my son. He’s my  only child and I need to be close to him.

Then a surprising thing happen. The same lady that I’m renting the cottage from called me to let me know they bought a house in the middle of town and  will be fixing it up just like their other houses and the rent will be the same or less.  It’s near the bus stop since I will have no car.

So far it looks good.  My life has never looked this good. I’m witing for the punch line I guess.  I just pray my Bipolar and weening myself from Effexor when be taken care of god since I’m putting him in charge of this.

Bipolar: Side Effects of Effexor

II’ve been reading about the side effects of the antidepressant Effexor XR. I wasn’t very impressed.  In fact, it scared me.  I stopped abruptly taking Zoloft, because the pharmacy would not refill my prescription until I saw my doctor, and I wouldn’t be seeing her for about 9 days.  Gosh, I was so mad about that!  How could they allow me to stop cold turkey. It’s dangerous!  The withdrawals were terrible!  I had dizziness as if my brain was turning over and over even when I was driving.

This is how I felt!

I got an appointment with the doctor and I told her about the Zolft, and she was a little pissed off.  She immediately call the pharmacy.  She told me she was taking me off the Zoloft since I’d been off of it any way, and to try Effexor.  I wasn’t told about any side effects or what would happen if I got off of it.  Then I read other people’s view on Effexor.  I was horrified!  However, I must say it effects every one differently. I’ve had more energy, positive attitude, more mentally challenged, less appetite, creative, and I’m exercising.  Another side effect I’m having is insomnia.  I just don’t want to go to sleep.  I’ll keep a close watch and write in my blog when I have different side effects.

 My little dog had made a terrible mess of himself.  In other words – he stunk!  I put him in the tub and this was very hard on me. I had to sit on my knees, and I have bad knees. Hurt!  Boy do they hurt!   I was getting so out of breathe and started to feel shaky.   When I stood up I became disoriented my hands and body were trembling.  I had to sit down and put my head between my knees – I was feeling faint.  It took a lot for me to get to my bed.  I was deep breathing and still trembling all over.  It was scaring me.

 The time was 1:00 pm and realized I hadn’t taken my medication.  I called out to my mom for help and asked for some orange juice.  I thought my sugar may too low. I’m a little over the diabetic number.  I drank some orange juice and took my medicine and laid still for a few minutes.  I also took an anxiety pill.  I heard anxiety could cause the shaking.

After about 30 minutes I started to feel a little better, but I have know  idea what it was.  Was I having side effects from Effexor, anxiety, stroke or a heart attack?  All I know right now is I’m alive.  I’ll continue taking the Effexor and hope it wasn’t the axe that fell on me. It’s taken so long to find the right combination.  I pray this will be it.

 I’d like to hear from others who are or have taken Effexor

A New Revelation – An Awakening – I Feel Positive! – I Feel New!

As you know from my last post I’ve been taken off my research medicine for bipolar and alcohol craving meds last Friday.  Since then I do feel a lot better.  So it seems that I was having bad trips from that med.  Soon I will give you the name – just don’t have it now.  They gave me a few of the pills to wean me off the drug so I wouldn’t have any withdrawals.  Well folks, I haven’t taken the pills – I haven’t had any withdrawals that I know of.  In fact, I have been feeling much better.  I have continued with the Lithium, but hope to wean myself of those, maybe.  I’m taking one day at a time.

I’ve had a clear head and feel more positive.  I’m more alert and happy.  Even my boss asked me why I was in such a good mood and this was at 6:30am.  Yes, I get up at 4:30am to be at work at 6:00am.  I love my job and I guess that makes a big different.

Last night something happen.  First, on my way home I started thinking about having a glass of wine and a cigarette.  Let me tell you there was a committee going off in my head really bad.  Go, don’t go, go, don’t go, etc.  I want a cig or drink, and I don’t.  I was confused on what I wanted.  I’ve been doing it so long that the habit’s just there, and that’s what I’m beginning to figure out.  I don’t get these ideas until around the same time every day. 

I ended up going and spending money on wine and cigarettes.  Yes, money – money I don’t have.  Go figure.  I got home and did some work on my eBay to get some packages out and I took some pictures to post.  The good thing is I know my work comes first.  It’s my second salary, which isn’t much right now.  Come on folks go buy something from my shop!  I’ve got great things for Christmas gifts. Sorry, I just had to vent for a minute.

It got to be 6pm, which is the happy hour.  Just like a zombie I did the ritual – get my blanket to cover of my couch so I don’t get it smoky.  Yes, you heard right.  Then I pop the top, pour wine into the glass, and get the napkin to sit under my glass on the end table.  Get the dirty ashtray and put a piece of paper under it so I want burn the couch.  Light the cigarette, take a sip.  Usually this goes on until either my wine is gone or the cigarettes – they go hand in hand.

After one glass a wine and 3 cigarettes I realized I wasn’t enjoying them – so why was I doing it.  Stinking up my house, adding calories and the cig’s didn’t even taste good – neither did the wine.  Hum…

Other reason I felt this way – Guilt.

I had an awakening or revelation or whatever you call but it’s all I’ve been thinking about.

Sunday, I went to watch the Cowboy game with my parents whom I love dearly.  First, I was feeling guilty because I needed to borrow some money.  My unemployment benefits ran out.  I was even feeling guilty about my drinking.  Then something happen that I did not expect.  Dad brought me a book – threw the book – saying you might can sell this on eBay.  It was “Alcohol Anonymous – Abuse” book.  I said where did you get that?  He replied, “You had it when you were in the rehab place.”  I fell 6 deep under.  My dad is the most important person in the world to me, and realized that I was disrespecting him for all the great things he’s done for me.  Even when I’m drinking I didn’t think my parents new. But, at that moment I just realize he knew what I was doing.  We’re blind to the people around us – you think your be sneaky and no one knows your drinking!  Honey, they know.  It’s in your actions, your speech, your lapse of memory, weight gain, changed habits, etc.  They know.

Monday morning when I woke up I thought about the book and my dad.  I said that’s it – this is the moment that I am changing my ways.  I felt so good Monday.  I work in a health club, which I love.  I worked out most of the day, and my boss said I could take some self-defense classes for FREE.  This just pumped me up.  I was full of ideas and energy all day.

Tuesday, the same thing, except when the committee sounded off.  It’s seems like it’s always Tuesday after the weekend when it happens.  It wasn’t what I wanted to do and it tasted pretty bad.  So I poured out the wine, empty the ashtray and went to bed to watch TV and read.  I felt so much better.  Actually, I felt that I reached a milestone.  One big step for mankind!

The evening ended and I got a surprise webcam call from my son.  With him was my grandson and daughter in-law.  You see they live in North Carolina – I miss them so much.  I was hoping to go and see them for Christmas, but no money.  My grandson was the cutest.  I wanted to hold him so bad. 

I’m so afraid that I’m going to miss him growing up like I did my son.  I have been rejected all my life of the good things.  Being alone.  I’ve been feeling that it was my punishment and HE (my higher power) felt it wasn’t time for me.  I believe HE got me this job to get me healthy, I believe he led me to this stage of having my own business since it’s been my dream for a long time. I believe that HE put everything in my path to get to where I am now.  I believe that HE has some great things for me if I just follow my heart and intuition (Divine Intuition). 

I think it started with the book Dad gave me and the last drink.

I hope it is a new beginning.  I know it’s not going to be easy battling both the Bipolar and the addictions.  But I will keep reach for the better good and get rid of the bad that is standing in my way.  Pray – prayers do work. I know.