Major depressive disorder

People Don’t Understand Bipolar

My Escape

I use to hide my illness from people because I was ashamed of it.  Then, when I started treatment and feeling better I thought “Why Hide It.”  Now I know.

I’ve been living on the East Coast for about a year and hadn’t made any friends since I hadn’t gone out much.  But then I met a neighbor while walking our dogs.  She asked me if I would like to go on a tour to one of the islands, and of course I accepted.  We had a great time!  Another time she asked me to dinner and again I accepted.   I have to say that I thought she was a pretty strange individual.  She never smiled, frowned all the time and would hardly look you in the eye.

We went to dinner at this great place on the beach for fish tacos and conversation started.  I really don’t know how it came how but I don’t her about the bipolar (big mistake) and then I noticed she started looking at me funny.  I asked what the problem was and she said – “Your always complaining, you shouldn’t be drinking (I had one drink), and I had a friend who was bipolar and she went crazy when she drank. “She then said, “I try not to associate myself with negative people.” She was judging me before she really knew me by comparing me with the friend who has bipolar – she use to have.  Actually I felt like I was in a nightmare.  I told her she was judging me, and that I shouldn’t have mentioned my illness since she wasn’t even a confirmed friend.  I said, “You don’t know me enough to judge me.”  I had her take me home.

I do have a tendency to talk too much.  Well, that’s going to stop.  New resolution – zip the lips!

I learned – Don’t tell people who you hardly know about your illness or anything that’s none of your business.  They do look at you strangely and some are actually afraid.  We get labeled by some as crazy.

What is Bipolar –

  • Bipolar disorder is also called manic depression, and it appears to be caused by electrochemical abnormalities in the brain. TV shows like to show people with bipolar disorder as criminals, but don’t worry — only a small percentage are ever violent, and I’m not one of them!
  •  “Mania” and “manic” don’t mean “crazy” — they refer to extra high emotions, full of energy, fast talking, too much talking,  not needing much sleep,  impulsiveness.
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Bipolar: Gone Missing

Three years ago I moved in with my parents to take care of them – both with Alzheimer’s.  As days went buy I became depressed isolating myself in the back room waiting for my name to be called.  I was called to fix the TV, cell phone, ext. The memory of both of my parents was getting worse.  I was having a hard time with this.  The problem, I stop taking care of myself.  I went in depression as well as mania.  I started having delusions, my creativity went south, and my anger increased.  I couldn’t write any more because my brain was blank.  I stop creating jewelry because I couldn’t come up with an idea.

I decided after a couple of years it was time for me to get a life.  Time for my brother to take over.  It was a hard decision, but I did move to North Carolina where my son lives. It was a risky decision having bipolar.  I have Bipolar 1 and major in manic.  It was real scary and very really guilty leaving my parents.

I will be writing my story about how bipolar/manic is effecting me today.  I  hope to keep writing – it’s been a long since I have.  I just haven’t felt like it and I’ve had brain was just on standby.  I’ve learned about bipolar by doing research and meeting other bipolar people.  I also see my medication doctor on a daily basis as well as a therapist.

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